I began this Godly Fathers series with seven reflections that I observed one night in an elder meeting. Those reflections pressed me to expand such a necessary topic in our day. The longer I pastor the more I am made aware of the invaluable strength, stability, and grace that I enjoy daily because of my heritage of godly fathers. My awareness has grown as I lead, counsel, and encourage men struggling to break the void of a godly father. My heart is tender toward first-generation godly fathers, men that are striving to anchor their families in godliness.
In this series I will share the influence of godly fathers in my life. I will highlight every father in my life by sharing a story or two, life lessons that I received, and principles that I pray will encourage and equip men today to live as godly fathers. This will not be a comprehensive list of lessons. There is not enough room to write. These will be what I believe are some of the most important to focus on for men who desire to be godly fathers.
We always went on family vacations. Some of my fondest memories revolve around these times. My favorite Harrison vacation story is the year we went to the beach in Florida. We planned family vacations around two major points. First, restaurants where we wanted to eat. Second, churches or preachers that my father wanted to attend and hear preach. We were close to Orlando and begged my father all week to take us to Disney World. On the last day as we packed the car to leave he told us he would take us to see Disney World. We were so excited. I still remember driving down that long multi-lane road toward Disney World. When we reached the first large sign the excitement in the car reached an all-time high. As we drove up to the park, as close as you can get, my dad said “See Disney World kids. There it is.” With that, he turned left and we drove home. He took us to see Disney World. (Now in all fairness to my dad, a couple years later he took us back to actually go to Disney World.)
I’ve watched rooms of people fall into despair when I tell this story. I don’t remember how I reacted that day and it doesn’t matter. And, that is my point. This is one of my favorite vacation stories to tell and I believe it perfectly makes my point. What we so often make important in our daily lives really isn’t in the big picture. Godly fathers must live boldly to focus on what matters in order to leave a legacy of godliness. I want to encourage fathers to build a godly heritage for their children by focusing on three parts: how you live, what you say, and how you love.
How You Live
A man who wants to build a godly heritage to leave for his children will understand that it begins with the way he lives every day of his life. You cannot give that which you do not possess. My father demonstrated godliness by example more than he preached it with words. When he did speak I never had trouble knowing what part of his life his words were rooted in. We hear a lot in life, but that which impacts the deepest is what we most fully experience. I followed my father, and not always gladly, as he led the family in following Christ. You don’t forget or easily get away from this. Much of my pride was shattered by grace because of my father at a time when I had no risk or responsibility invested.
He demonstrated a vast number of disciplines, but his most distinguishing is an unwavering love for God’s Word. The dominant image of my father is sitting in his chair reading the Bible. This is a picture of how he lives and the greatest lesson he has taught me. No words can capture the full impact of this image as it remains in my head and heart. Men, your family needs to see you reading God’s Word regularly to know the source of your strength, wisdom, courage, and joy.
He demonstrated many other exemplary characteristics as well. He holds an unwavering love for my mother, for our home and family, for the church and his job, for others and ministering to them in Jesus’ name. He demonstrated an unwavering love for life, to share it, and pass it on. The strength of Christ is evident in every area of his life not through perfection but by grace as he lives by faith. I always thought this was normal growing up. I’m learning how radical it really is.
Dad, is the life you are living demonstrating Christ’s love as the consuming fire in your heart? Are you most concerned with your reputation or your character, with what other people think or say of you, or of what God has said to you?
What You Say
Men, not everything you say will be remembered, but some of it will. Make sure that what you want them to remember is what you say most often and at the most opportune times. The words of my father resonate in my head and heart. I do not hear them all the time. But at critical moments of life when I’ve faced hardship, struggle, crisis, and even celebration I have never failed to have a word from my father to remind and encourage me. The blessing is not always in his words, rather it is sometimes in where his words lead me, back to God’s Word. I know of no advice my father has shared with me that is not grounded in God’s Word. This says more to me than any word could.
How you say what you say matters. Kids are wise when they do not know it. What they do know is what you mean in what you say by the way you say it. When you say things you think you are supposed to say but do not really believe or mean it, kids know, and it means very little to them. When you say things that matter to you, they know that as well. The fearful part is how often we say things that are not good, sourced in the sin of our life, thinking we have covered them well with crafty words. Our kids know what is really being said because they know us. They hear our discrimination, hate, gossip, and destructive words. What they hear us say in these times will condition how they hear anything else we say at all other times.
Dad, if you died today what words would be the last your kids would hear you say? What words would be the most important your kids ever heard you say? Are you saying these every day, sourced from a heart of love to leave them with your kids?
Next week I’ll finish this post with the third part, how you love. What do you believe is most important for a father to leave for his children?
Other Posts in the Godly Fathers Series